


A Kiss Might Be More Than Just A Kiss

by SilverRaven33



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Best Friend's Girl, F/M, Forbidden Kiss, guilty crush, kiss gone wrong, paranoid Cory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverRaven33/pseuds/SilverRaven33
Summary: When Cory watches Shawn and Topanga kiss for a commercial, he immediately gets jealous and swears there's feelings between his fiancee and his best friend, which the two deny. But as hard as they try, they can't truly deny it. What will they do now that they can't ignore it anymore?For die hard fans, which most of you probably are, this story is set in and mirrors a canon episode, Hogs and Kisses, Season 6, Episode 6.I know, this is different from my usual Shawn/Cory pairing, but I had to explore Shawn/Topanga just a little





	1. Chapter 1

The promotional shoot was not going well; Topanga knew it, the director knew it, and Cory most definitely knew it. They were on their fifty-eighth take and Cory had the lines down, he really did. He just...couldn't spit them out the way they were supposed to go when the camera was running. In fact, he was making up completely new words in his verbal stumblings. His best friend Shawn stood next to the director, a failed film major who still had illusions of grandeur, watching the disaster and attempting not to laugh. Cory's fiancee Topanga was doing all she could to hold up her performance in spite of him, and looking as beautiful as ever while stealing the show.

When Cory failed on what was supposed to be an enthusiastic "C'mon!" and the director yelled "Cut!" for what felt like the umpteenth time, Cory gave up. He sucked at this. Though the director was reluctantly willing to keep trying, Cory was not. He announced he was quitting to an eruption of cheers to this news from the extras in the student Union. Topanga, bless her, was still trying to defend him and their presentation in the promo film as the perfect freshman couple, citing their natural chemistry.

"Yeah...where'd that go?" the director asked them, and both Cory and Topanga paused, rather wishing they had an answer. They had the image of the quintessential couple; they were childhood sweethearts that were now getting to experience college together. Granted, that was only because Topanga had chosen to follow Cory here to Pennbrook rather than take the opportunity to go to Yale, a decision that many, including Cory, had a difficult time understanding. Perhaps this was a contributing factor to the distance that seemed to be sprouting between them lately. But on the surface, as far as anyone knew, they were Cory and Topanga, the ultimate relationship goals. There were times, though, that keeping that image together became a goal unto itself.

Shawn, always Cory's relief from the more serious side of life, stepped out from behind the camera. He teased him that he shouldn't quit yet, he wanted to hear Cory butcher more lines. Both Cory and Topanga looked towards him, grateful for the distraction. Shawn had really started to come into his own since the trio had started college. Though he had been far from the ideal high school student, college classes and the increased independence were suiting him, and he carried himself with a confidence that no longer had to be faked. The director was also looking at him, and brought up the idea of having Shawn fill Cory's role in the shoot.

Cory, surprisingly, was all for it, apparently forgetting that the couple in the film were supposed to have chemistry. Shawn hesitated, and Topanga's defenses went up.

"I don't feel comfortable doing this unless Cory's going to be in it," she said, the slightest edge of panic in her eyes. Shawn tried telling Cory that he couldn't be him, but Cory wasn't having it. He wanted the film to go well, and he was so scared of screwing it up further. He knew Shawn would be exactly what was needed: calm, cool, confident, and collected; everything Cory was not.

"Besides, Topanga will be here. She'll make you feel comfortable," Cory pointed out.

Shawn squinted at him and replied, "I think it's a bad idea," trying one last time to convince his best friend. Topanga nodded her agreement behind him. 

"Oh, when did I ever have a bad idea?!" Cory exaggerated, sweeping his hand to the side as if the thought was preposterous. All three knew Cory had had some doozies of schemes and plans in the past, some of which did not always work out. But they had also known each other long enough to know that once Cory had an idea, none of them would be at peace until said idea had been carried out. 

So Shawn and Topanga found themselves posing as the perfect Pennbrook couple, talking up all the merits of attending school there. Shawn didn't even have to read the script, having picked most of the dialogue up from Cory's failed takes, and improvising the rest. There seemed to be an awkwardness between the two at first when they went to sit on the couch in front of the fireplace, a scene that demanded them to nearly be cuddling. Topanga tried sitting with some space between her and Shawn, acutely aware of Cory watching them. But when she looked at her fiancee, all she saw was honest encouragement on his face and he even made a motion with his hands that looked like he was telling her to move closer to Shawn. So she took a deep breath and slid over, and Shawn easily put an arm around her shoulder. He was so suave about this stuff, and Topanga did relax somewhat.

She had watched Shawn through the years with an assortment of different girls, never understanding why so many fell for his charms, since he was well known as a serial dater, at least until Angela. She far preferred the steady sensibility that she'd known for years with Cory. Even he had had his temptations in the past, but she knew his heart belonged to her and it was to her that he was completely devoted. She wasn't oblivious to Shawn's charisma, however, and she would be outright lying to herself if she tried denying that he was attractive. So there was a part of her, a very small part, she swore, that was enjoying having his arm draped over her loosely and being pressed up against his side.

Shawn was doing his utmost to ignore his best friend behind the camera as they headed towards the end of the shoot. This felt natural to him; he had almost been born with the gift of bullshit, thanks to his dad, so the smooth talking this role required was easy for him to pull off. The only time he faltered a touch was when he drew Topanga in closer to him as she closed the gap between them on the couch. She was so gorgeous, and her eyes were especially bright today, or maybe it was just the extra lighting for the shoot. He'd of course admired her for years, ever since she'd grown out of what he thought of as her extreme hippie days when they were in junior high. There were a lot of things he'd tell Cory, almost anything, but the dreams he'd had about the man's girlfriend-turned-fiancee were not one of them. He was aware he was enjoying this more than he strictly should have been, sitting this close to her, and being able to hold her. She smelled like lemon and lilacs, which is why the best nickname that his distracted mind could come up with as he reached his arm around her shoulders was "Schnookums." 

The director was eating it up, loving the interaction he was getting between Shawn and Topanga and watching them with hungry eyes. Cory watched the monitor with him, happy that his two closest friends were doing so well. They both deserved to shine. 

"Don't they look great together?" he asked the director, an affectionate admiration in his voice. Nothing seemed unnatural between them; they were both doing such a good job acting their parts and Cory knew it was because they had been friends for so long. He'd told them they'd be comfortable!

"You know, they really do," the director agreed with him, staring at Shawn and Topanga through the monitor with his hands folded together, and something in his tone made Cory turn to look at him.

"I just meant they do, I don't mean they really do," he pointed out. What was the guy getting at? He couldn't take his eyes off the monitor. Cory looked back at his friends on the couch, seeing them with the director's eyes as well as his own. Topanga and Shawn were now doing the last lines about finding their lifelong mates here at Pennbrook, and though the dialogue was cheesy, they were just so cute. She did her adorable laugh, and he turned that smile on her. Why was he turning that smile on her? And looking at her like that? Cory had seen that look on Shawn's face, many times before, and that look was not supposed to be aimed at Topanga. He started feeling uneasy, for the first time unsure about this whole venture. 

"Well, that went well," Cory said loudly, clapping his hands for emphasis. That was the end of it. He turned to the director again, waiting for him to officially wrap it. The director had other ideas, ideas that were much worse than Cory's hare brained schemes.

"Kiss her," he ordered, motioning to Shawn and Topanga still cozy on the couch together. They hadn't moved away from each other the second the last line and smile had been delivered. And now, for some godforsaken reason, they were listening to the director, and Shawn's lips were on Cory's fiancee's. 

Shawn paused before he did it, he swore he did, even if only for a second. Or maybe he just wanted to believe he did. He loved Cory like a brother, and he'd never do anything to hurt him. But this was a role he was playing; in fact, he was technically playing Cory right now, and one of the biggest perks of being Cory Matthews was that he got to kiss Topanga Lawrence on the regular. So it would look weird if he didn't, Shawn reasoned. In truth, he was shocked he was able to reason that much. Topanga's hair was soft on his hand, her lips were full and moist, and her body warm pressed against him. She gave him the slightest look of apprehension before he fully closed the gap between them, but he saw the undercurrent of desire there as well. He was practiced in seeing those, to be sure. If she'd been hesitant at all, he wouldn't have done it, but she leaned into him just as readily. This would be the only chance he'd get to do this.

Topanga's heartbeat thudded against her ribs as she met Shawn's lips. She knew she shouldn't be doing this; she dimly knew somewhere over there Cory was starting to throw a fit. But it was just a movie, right, and how much had she heard about good of a kisser Shawn Hunter was? Of course she'd wondered about it for herself. The reputation was deserved, she was finding, and she was also finding it difficult not to move even closer into him, as the director egged them on. She resolutely kept her hands resting on her lap in front of her, justifying that as long as they didn't start touching each other or involving tongue, it wasn't that bad. But Shawn's hand on the back of her neck was giving her chills, and then his tongue was teasing her lips and she knew she couldn't resist. She forgot about Cory and the director and the camera for a moment as the kiss deepened, and she broke her other rule and brought her hand up to caress Shawn's jaw.

"CUT! CUT! CUT!" came blaring through the student union at them, Cory wielding a bullhorn in their faces and shocking them back to the real world. WHAT DID THEY THINK THEY WERE DOING?! Cory felt like he was getting stabbed. A peck would have been one thing, which is what he would have thought of when the director said kiss, if he'd had time to think of anything before his best friend and his fiancee started making out. But they'd just gone for it, as if they'd been waiting for this, as if he wasn't even in the room. The sight of them together like that chased all sense from Cory's head. 

Topanga and Shawn pulled back from each other's faces, but they did not move their positions next to each other, both turning to stare at Cory, horrified and speechless on all three accounts. Topanga turned bright red, and she winced, but quickly attempted to cover it with a slight laugh, as if Cory was being ridiculous. Which he was, but she still knew she was not in the right on this one, for perhaps the first time. She covered her face with her hand, trying not to look guilty.

Shawn was doing marginally better at appearing to just be stunned, which was not wholly an act. He'd lost himself more than he'd meant to in that kiss, and the jolt back to reality was rather jarring. Cory continued yelling at them through the bullhorn, overreacting in typical Cory fashion. Here we go, thought Shawn, we'll never hear the end of this. With his quick wits, he immediately decided how he'd play the situation, and he hoped Topanga would go along with it. He slowly pulled his arm off of her. The moment was over, and he needed to convince Cory now.

When Cory yelled that he had kissed his girlfriend, Shawn yelled back, "He told me to!" pointing to the director. It wasn't a lie, and it was the only shot they had. Cory continued to scream, and Shawn screamed back, pointing out how ludicrous his continued use of the bullhorn was. Cory at least handed it over to the director then, who faded into the background and started getting his crew together and packed up. Cory was far from done being upset, however. 

"I don't like that you kissed my girlfriend," he said forcefully.

"It didn't mean anything," Shawn said, rolling his eyes a bit, putting on his most reasonable face, and turning his palms up in a perfect imitation of honesty. This was a lie, and he hated to do that to Cory, but there was no way he could tell him the truth. It's not like it was going to happen ever again anyway, it was a one time indulgence that they'd gotten a free pass on. He tried to ignore how smooth Topanga's bare leg looked, so close to his hand, as he willed her to help him out with explaining. He hadn't been able to see the looks of indignation she'd been giving Cory in the meantime.

"Please don't freak out about this," she finally said. Shawn let himself glance at her and those big eyes that were imploring Cory to calm down. "It was a just a movie. An act," she added. Was she trying to convince Cory or herself? She wasn't sure, she just hoped she sounded sincere, not practiced in the art of lying. She'd never confess to her fiancee how much she had enjoyed that kiss. Cory stared at them for a moment longer, then turned to gaze into the distance.

"Please don't freak out about this," he repeated, to himself, as if he was trying to memorize it as a mantra. "Please don't freak about this." He moved off, in the direction of the main school building, leaving Shawn and Topanga still sitting next to each other, still close together.

"Well. That went well," Shawn said, echoing Cory, and Topanga broke into a giggle. Whenever she moved her head, he got that delicious fruity floral scent drifting into his nose. Now that Cory was gone, and the camera crew had left, the immediate stress of the situation melted away. Shawn threw himself backwards on the couch, with a relieved exhale. He hoped Cory had believed them. He knew he'd worry about it, probably excessively, for awhile, but it should settle down after a bit. 

"I suppose I should go talk to him," Topanga said, in a resigned tone. 

"Don't you both have classes?" Shawn pointed out.

"That's right!" she said brightly, clearly happy about not being able to go talk to Cory at that moment. She had a sympathetic soul, though, so she asked Shawn, "Do you really think he'll be all right?"

"He'll get over it," Shawn replied, half sitting up. "Eventually." Topanga suddenly laid a daring hand on his knee and looked at him over her shoulder.

"Thank you for making that comfortable," she said, emphasizing the last word, lightly mocking Cory's use of it earlier. Shawn looked back at her, and wanted to pull her into him again. Instead he just smiled his winning smile.

"It was a good time," he told her with a hint of mischievousness in his voice. She smiled back at him and then was gone off to class, but for the rest of the day he could feel where she had rested her hand on his leg.


	2. Chapter 2

Cory was determined to stay calm about the incident, he really was. He thought that by maybe getting a copy of the video and watching it a few times he would see what Shawn and Topanga had said: that the kiss didn’t mean anything. But as he rewound and re-watched it over and over again, he had to say he was becoming less and less convinced. The way they looked at each other beforehand, the way they leaned in, the way Shawn gripped her shoulder, the way her hand touched his jaw, the way Cory could tell the moment that their tongues met, the way _they just didn’t stop_. He drove himself crazy watching the scene well into the hundreds of times, still hoping he was wrong. Hoping he didn’t see the attraction and the heat between his best friend and his fiancee.

He’d never had any reason to not trust them around each other before this. Well, except for that time when they were younger and Topanga had gotten a makeover and when she walked out from the salon, both Cory and Shawn’s jaws had dropped. Shawn had jokingly proposed to her, running his hands through his hair because he knew girls couldn’t resist that. And Topanga had given him an interested if amused look that Cory did not miss. But Shawn had just been messing around, of course, and that had been way back in freshman year.

Then there was a couple years ago when Topanga first found out she was moving to Pittsburgh and she confided in Shawn first. Eric had come home and told Cory he had seen Shawn and Topanga in a compromising situation at Chubby’s, sharing a hug and some sort of a kiss. Cory had scoffed at the idea but it secretly ate at him, especially wondering why Topanga felt better telling Shawn news like that before telling him. And of course, in eighth grade, Shawn had asked Topanga out before Cory could, but that was just a set up so Cory would realize how much he actually wanted her. Right? That’s how he remembered it but what if his memory was fuzzy? It suddenly seemed like there had been times that Shawn and Topanga had exchanged looks behind his back and he began to wonder if there were other things that he had missed that he hadn’t been present for. What if today was not the first time they had kissed? He’d thought for all this time he could trust them but what if he was wrong?

But then he remembered how hard Shawn took it when he and Topanga broke up over the Lauren thing, and this brought him down to earth a little. Not only had Cory royally screwed up and he’d be a hypocrite for not letting Topanga have any leeway on this, Shawn had demonstrated then how much he wanted Cory and Topanga to be together. If he was going to try to steal her from Cory, that would have been his chance. He finally shut off the TV and VCR, ejecting the tape and throwing it in the trash. He was being ridiculous. This was Shawn and Topanga; they would never do anything to hurt him. Cory laid down in bed and turned off the light, determined to get at least some sleep. He didn’t feel confident enough to unlock the dorm room though.

 

 

Topanga walked into the student lounge the next morning, curious about the human sized lump on the couch. As she got closer, she realized it was Shawn, and he was fast asleep still. His hair was perfect even mushed against a pillow, she noted, and he looked so innocent lying there. Why was he here, though?

“Shawn!” she called to him, and he awoke with a start, since apparently he’d been having a bad dream. “You slept on the couch?” she asked in concern as he groggily sat up.

“Yeah,” he said, “Cory wouldn’t let me in last night.” He’d slept decently well anyway, and he had to admit, waking up to the sight of Topanga in that tight red dress and her long hair down was not a bad way to start the day. He kept the blanket over his lower half, conscious of his morning wood and the fact that he was only wearing boxers. Topanga sat down next to him, covering her lap with the thick comforter Shawn had been using. It was nice and warm from him.

“He’s avoiding me, too,” she told him. “I bet he’s been up all night, stewing.” Just then, they heard the glass door open and shut carefully, and Cory was walking in, gait and movements measured, like he’d rehearsed them. He approached the couch where his friends sat in relative apprehension, and began his speech about how he had worked through his worries and anxiety. Mid-sentence, however, his eyes widened as he noticed what he was looking at. He had a nasty premonition, and suddenly reached down and yanked the blanket off of them.

“What’s this?” he asked, while Shawn simultaneously rolled his eyes and casually tried to cover his groin. He didn’t have a full hard on, but he didn’t think Cory needed to see one at all. Topanga covered her face with her hands for a second, like she had done yesterday, but less out of guilt now. They really hadn’t done anything this time, they weren’t even sitting that close! But Cory’s so recently controlled hackles were raised again. He started talking about hidden sexual tension for the past fifteen years and even when Shawn tried to break in and tell him that there wasn’t, Cory wouldn’t listen. He had clearly thought way too much about this, as Shawn had feared. When Topanga actually _growled_ at Cory, stopping him in his tirade for a split second, it caused Shawn’s blood pressure to rise just a touch, and he conceded to himself that maybe Cory wasn’t wrong.

“I want you two to go out on a date and explore your feelings,” Cory said now. Shawn had stood up already, and Topanga followed suit.

“There are no feelings,” she stated, trying not to show her exasperation. This was getting out of hand, not to mention dangerous.

“There are feelings. Maybe you don’t think there are feelings, but the tape says there are,” he insisted. “When you kissed each other, you felt something. You both did.” He was being as serious as a heart attack, and neither Shawn nor Topanga had a good comeback. If he’d seen the chemistry, how could they deny it? But that didn’t mean that they had to take it further; they seemed mutually agreed on that, at least between each other.

“We’re not going out on a date,” Shawn said plainly. Topanga was Cory’s, and while it was fun to lust after her, Shawn would have nothing to do with a situation that made Cory worse than he already was being about this.

“You have to go out on a date. Otherwise it’s going to haunt us for the rest of our lives,” Cory said, and they knew that they weren’t getting off the hook that easily. Shawn rolled his eyes once more, and gave up. If that’s what the idiot wanted, that’s what the idiot was going to get. He loved his friend but sometimes he was such an absolute pain. Shawn turned to Topanga, arms folded across his chest. She looked up at him, and her eyes were clearly asking him to save them from this drama.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” Shawn asked flippantly, but as he ended the sentence, his lips couldn’t help turning up at the corners.

“Yes,” Topanga sighed, throwing her arms out to the side and then folding them as well. She’d caught Shawn’s tiny smile, and her eyes sparkled. She had to look away so Cory wouldn’t see.

As it was, he threw out, “I knew it!” as he pointed at them.

 

 

So that’s how Shawn and Topanga found themselves sitting at one of the nicest restaurants in town that Friday night, eating a fancy meal on Cory’s dime. He’d made the reservations, and even picked out the desert, ensuring that his best friend and his girlfriend had a nice romantic evening. Shawn had figured he’d might as well do it justice, and wore his best, well, his only, suit. When he arrived at Topanga and Angela’s dorm room door, she stepped out delicately, looking knockout gorgeous in a low cut, faintly sparkly dark blue dress that hugged her body almost as well as that red one had. Shawn eyed her appreciatively, and watched her blush under his gaze. Her hair was half up, the rest still flowing over her shoulders. He already longed to touch it and see if it was as soft as he remembered.

Cory was at the door of the boys’ room across the hall, looking on as Shawn and Topanga departed. They both looked amazing, and Cory was confident that if there really were feelings between them, they would find out tonight. In truth, he thought as his heart ached, they looked beautiful together. Shawn was so much more attractive than Cory was, and Cory had always known it. Topanga was Aphrodite reincarnated, and Shawn looked much better next to her than Cory ever could. He watched them as they walked away, arm in arm, and started to hate himself for what he’d done, but he couldn’t stop them now and make that much out of a fool out of himself, not after the one he’d made demanding this date. He retreated into his room and paced for awhile, then went to talk to Angela.

 

Meanwhile, Shawn was playing the perfect gentleman, treating Topanga with the utmost respect. Not only was she beautiful, but she was his best friend’s girl and his dear friend as well. He hailed a cab for them, making sure she got in first, then slid in next to her, closer than he strictly had to perhaps. She didn’t seem to mind, however, as she squeezed his knee briefly.

“You look wonderful,” he couldn’t help but tell her, and was rewarded with a glowing smile.

“Thank you,” she beamed. “You look pretty snazzy yourself.” He’d gotten ready while trying to ignore Cory’s watchful eyes the whole time. He wanted to look nice for her; there was nothing wrong with that.

They sat across from each other at the dinner table, easily falling into conversation over the appetizers about school and assignments. It seemed to be an unspoken pact that they would not mention Cory. Topanga had thought it would feel weird to be at this fancy of a place with Shawn Hunter, but he was in fact impressing her with his manners and his ability to blend in with the upscale crowd. And he was funny; she had already known he had a great sense of humor, but his jokes, unlike Cory’s, didn’t end on a note of uncertainty on if she should laugh at them or not. She hadn’t been on many dates that weren’t with Cory, at least since early high school, and she had to admit, she felt fortunate that she got to be spending the evening with someone so attractive and engaging.

Shawn understood now why he had never been able to distract her away from Cory, even had he tried; she was way beyond his league. He would never be able to get a girl as wholesome and apple pie as her. Even when she flirted, and she was flirting with him, she was demure and gentle about it. Or maybe she was just being shy with him, because he knew she had a strong and opinionated personality. There it was, he realized with surprise, as he felt her stocking foot on his ankle under the table. Oh, so they weren’t going to completely behave tonight, he came to the conclusion. He was caught between a rock and hard place, somewhat literally. On one hand, he was out with one of the most beautiful girls ever, and she was already playing footsie with him under the table. On the other hand, this was _his best friend’s fiancee_. His logic battled with his hormones as he shot her a devilish grin over the main entree. He’d rather been counting on her to be “good”, to be the voice of reason if he got too tempted. But he supposed with the way she’d kissed him back while the camera was rolling and as low cut as that dress was tonight, he’d been mistaken.

By the time desert came out, they had moved their chairs so they were sitting side by side, and Shawn was enjoying that lemon/lilac scent of hers again, mixed with the chocolate of their tiramisu. They were both so full they were barely nibbling on the treat, anyway. Shawn scooped the edge of his spoon over the frosting on the top of his, and playfully held it up to Topanga. She glanced up and smiled before putting her hand over his to guide the spoon into her mouth, firmly cleaning it off with her full lips, which she licked after she pulled the spoon out. She never broke eye contact with Shawn, and she paused before she released his hand. Shawn could only stare at her, and notice the tug in his pants and the twist in his belly. Dirty fantasies started swirling in his mind, and he knew Topanga knew by the look she was giving him.

She wondered what it would be like to kiss him right now, mouths sweet with sugar and chocolate. His eyes, a deep ocean blue that begged to be drowned in, were arresting as they stared at her. She could tell there was lust that was trying not to show itself there, but it wasn’t succeeding. Shawn had been so good tonight, the only physical contact that he’d initiated had been sitting close in the cab, and that may have even been on accident. Topanga wished he’d stop that. Not that she wanted to cheat on Cory, but she was having a wonderful time, and if she had a little too much fun tonight, well, that would be Cory’s fault, wouldn’t it? He had wanted this, he had thrown them together, he had made sure they had the tiramisu that she now wanted to kiss off Shawn’s lips. She did reach up and remove a smear of frosting from the corner of his mouth with her finger, which she then licked off.

This almost broke Shawn’s control. He wanted to lift her onto the table and have his way with her, if he were to be completely honest, but he tried to think of Cory watching them, which, for all he knew, Cory was paranoid enough to be doing. He was trying with all his might to be a gentleman but the blood was pounding in his ears. He allowed himself to rest a hand on her knee under the table, still not able to look away from her. Almost immediately, her hand slipped over his, pressing his palm into her warm skin. Shawn concentrated on controlling his breathing, scared he might hyperventilate. He had been with plenty of beautiful girls before, but Topanga was having a stronger effect on him than he could have ever prepared himself for. Was there fifteen years of hidden sexual tension; was Cory actually right?

 


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m sure they’re out having a horrible time, talking about you,” Angela told Cory, trying to make him feel better. She wasn’t sure why; if a guy was stupid enough to send his girlfriend off on a date with Shawn, he deserved what he got. Angela knew Shawn’s charms well, and if it had been anybody but Topanga, she knew Cory would be single by the end of the night. Her friend was too sensible, and too faithful, for that. Though again, Angela wasn’t sure why. Cory was a sweet guy, but she preferred her men more exciting, and less neurotic. To each their own.

“You think so?” He needed validation so badly.

“I know so.”

Just then, they heard giggling in the hall that Cory would recognize anywhere as Topanga’s. He looked stricken and fought the urge to go to the door as Angela watched him.

 

 

Shawn and Topanga had had a lovely walk back from the restaurant, deciding not to get a cab in order to exercise some of the meal off, and it was still warm outside for mid October. Neither had said it, but they also didn’t want the night to end, and any means of prolonging it was welcome. After they had gotten up from the table, their hands had slipped together naturally, and they stayed that way for the entire slow walk back. It felt so good to be alive and young, holding a beautiful person’s hand on a Friday night. Now they stood in front of Cory and Shawn’s dorm room door, still not wanting to part.

Shawn gently opened the door and peeked inside. No one there. His heart pounding, he looked back at Topanga and raised his eyebrows in an invitation. She looked at him, deciding, and smiled.

“After you,” he gestured, and admired her as she walked past him. He sneakily hung a rubber band on the doorknob before entering himself. It was dark in the room save for a nightlight by the desk, but Shawn didn’t get a chance to reach for a switch or a lamp. He had barely turned around from the door before Topanga was there, slipping her hands into his suit jacket and resting her hands on his sides.

“Thank you for a wonderful night,” she breathed. All he could smell was her, and he drew her close before he let himself think further. This kiss, in the dark, without cameras or directors or Cory present, lit both of their souls on fire. Shawn’s back was still against the door, and Topanga pressed her whole body against his. He was having trouble breathing again, even when their lips parted for a moment. His hand cradled her neck while the other wrapped around her back and pulled her even closer.

This was wrong. This was so wrong and they both knew it, but they were both so hungry for each other that that voice of reason was hard to focus on. He never really had to find out, right? This was just a little fun and they could keep it their dirty little secret. Topanga’s hair came loose and tumbled over Shawn’s hand as they made out. He stared at her in the dim light and couldn’t help thinking of her on a bed underneath him. As if she could read his mind, she started stepping backwards towards his bed, tugging him along. He bit his lip, deliberating. How far did they dare go? He knew she had not been that intimate with Cory, much to Cory’s chagrin, and he didn’t want to do anything either one of them might regret the next day, if it wasn’t too late for that already. He also had an unsettling sense that Cory could not possibly be far away.

While he was thinking, Topanga stepped closer to him and started laying kisses along his jawline and down his neck, making organized thought all but impossible.

“C’mon, I think I know of a dorm room that might stay empty tonight, unlike this one,” he said. His friends Eddie and Jake were at some big party at another college for the weekend, and they had offered their room’s use to Shawn when they were gone if he should ever have need of more privacy than a rubber band demanded. Topanga followed him willingly, holding his hand again, as he sneakily opened the door and hoped he wouldn’t see Cory in the hallway. They all but tiptoed away, neither thinking to remove the rubber band on the doorknob.

 

“I can’t take it anymore,” Cory finally said, “I’m going over there.” Angela sighed at him but agreed to come with him.

“I’m sure they’re just in there talking,” she tried to assure him, but she stopped short when she saw the rubber band. No way, she thought, they’re just trying to mess with Cory, to teach him a lesson. Her heart did go out to him when she saw the broken and terrified look on his face. He was about to turn away and head who knows where, so Angela decided she had to take a step here. She knocked on the door firmly and waited a moment. If anybody was indecent or disheveled inside, they deserved the chance to fix that. Then she opened the door wide and flipped on the light. Cory had stayed next to her with his back to the door, clearly scared of what he might see. She turned him around to the empty room, no sign of anyone having been there recently. But he could smell Topanga; that body spray that she used that he wasn’t the biggest fan of, to be honest, but it left a distinctive scent behind.

Angela walked into the room, confident that Shawn and Topanga were probably just down the hall, ready to come back and surprise Cory at any moment that nothing was going on.

“See? No one’s here. And you were so worried,” she said, turning to face him.

“Yeah, maybe I was,” Cory admitted, haltingly. She had definitely been here, but maybe they had just gone to...where exactly would they have gone? It was late. Angela saw the furrow in his brow and attempted to distract him.

“Cory, have you been ever been attracted to me?” she asked him now.

“No,” he said immediately, to which her brow raised in disbelief. “Well...” he began to amend.

“Mm-hmm,” she intoned, looking at him sternly.

“There was this dream...” Cory added, and he was so bashful about it, she couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Was it a good dream?” Angela asked, oddly curious.

“Oh yeah!” he said enthusiastically, and she laughed at him. He was so cute in an awkward white boy kind of way.

“Was it real?” she asked him, to which of course he replied no. But then, being Cory, he had to go on further.

“But they kissed. You can’t kiss somebody and not feel anything.” Angela had had enough. She put her hands on Cory’s shoulders and firmly turned him so his bed was behind him. And she shoved him back onto it, surprising him with her strength. Poor thing, he looked so unsure as she climbed in bed after him and on top of him.

“It’s my dream!” he joked as she closed the distance to his face at the top of the bed. She gave him a smirk before she put a hand on his chest to steady herself and captured his lips with hers. His lips were actually pretty soft, and he was having no problem kissing her back. She’d meant this to be a quick lesson on how kissing didn’t have to be this big of a deal, but then she suddenly didn’t want to stop.

Cory relaxed down into the bed, putting a tentative hand on Angela’s waist. She followed his body and laid half on top of him. He knew he shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as he was, but she had literally thrown herself at and on him, and she felt amazing. Topanga was a good kisser, but Angela was doing things with her tongue that Cory had never dreamed of. She was kissing him like she needed him, whereas his and Topanga’s kissing had turned into more of a comfortable hobby lately. He felt himself getting hard against his will, and he strove to break the kiss. It was awhile before he was successful.

“Wow,” Angela breathed when she pulled back from him a bit, panting a little and studying him. Cory smirked at her in turn, his heart pounding. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's taken me this long to update. This is very unlike me and I am hanging my head in shame. I will be posting the next and final chapter immediately after this one, if that makes up for it at all.

Angela was still lying awake when she heard the door ease open but she gave no sign of life as Topanga sneaked in. She just lay there listening to her friend change into pajamas and then crawl into bed. That was definitely the sound of a happy sigh as Topanga laid down. Angela waited a few moments then peeked at the clock on her bedside table. Three o’clock in the morning. She closed her eyes again to attempt to fall asleep but she didn’t have high hopes.

Across the hall, Cory was doing the same thing, listening to Shawn come back and get ready for bed. Unlike Angela, however, he wasn’t going to bother trying to go to sleep because he knew it wouldn’t happen. He also wasn’t ready to confront Shawn like he would have liked to do. His mind was a swirling mess of its own.

 

 

Angela was able to fall asleep eventually, and she woke to Topanga brushing her wet hair and reading a textbook. That gorgeous dress she’d worn the night before was draped over the desk chair, her high heeled shoes underneath it. Angela felt uncomfortable around her friend in a way she never had before; she had never kissed her friend’s fiancee before. So she didn’t jump at the chance to greet Topanga but her friend noticed she was awake.

“Morning!” she called when she looked over her shoulder to the sound of Angela’s sheets rustling. Topanga was always bright and chipper in the morning but she seemed to be even more so today, even on what must have been only a few hours of sleep.

“Morning,” Angela replied, more soberly, rubbing her eyes slowly and not getting up. As unsure and groggy as she felt, she could feel the excited energy sparking off of Topanga. It helped wake her up but she was not exactly looking forward to talking to her friend. She had already decided she was not going to keep anything from her about last night. Topanga was eager to talk to Angela first, though, at least for now.

“Can I tell you about last night?” she asked, clearly bursting at the seams. Angela was actually dying to know, and she nodded vigorously, unable to repel Topanga’s enthusiasm any longer. “You just can’t tell Cory!” she added, her smile temporarily fading and her eyes widening.

“Girl, you know I got you,” Angela said, almost forgetting her own woes. She crawled to the end of her bed to sit there, all ears. Topanga turned so that she was facing Angela on the end of her own bed, and her hands went to her chest as if to hold her heart in, hairbrush and book forgotten. Her eyes rolled upward for a moment, and she looked positively rapturous as she looked back at Angela.

“I had. The most amazing night,” she said. “I’m still processing it.” Yeah, you and me both, Angela thought. Topanga saw the look on her face and bit her lip.

“Are you sure you want me to talk about this?” she asked now, catching herself. “I mean, this is about Shawn.” Topanga wasn’t really confident that Angela was completely over him. She’d been so caught up in the wrong that she was doing Cory, she hadn’t stopped to fully consider that Shawn was her best friend’s ex, and now she didn’t know how guilty she should feel for that as well. She couldn’t know yet that Angela did not have a leg to stand on to feel wronged.

“It’s okay,” Angela told her, “I mean, it might bother me a little but he’s a free agent. I’m too curious about what happened.” Which was true. She had never seen Topanga this giddy over anything, not even when she aced a test.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Topanga said, then dove in. She told Angela how Shawn had been during dinner, and how funny he was, and how amazing he looked, which Angela had gotten to experience firsthand on her own dates with him and made her miss him just a little, but she listened patiently.

“And then we got back here,” Topanga continued, “And it was like I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. I was so bad, Angela. We both were.” Her tone was full of reproach for herself but her eyes still shone with excitement. “He took me to one of his friend’s rooms that he knew wasn’t coming back last night, and we...I went further with him than I ever have with Cory. Way further.” Now she looked scared as well as guilty, but her wide eyes hadn’t dimmed. Angela looked at her, stunned and speechless, her own eyes round.

“Not all the way or anything,” Topanga quickly tacked on. Then, “I’m sorry if that bothers you.” She wasn’t sure what to make of her friend’s reaction, just hoping she would say something soon.

“Topanga!” Angela got out, her eyebrows raising.

“I know, I know!” Topanga stiffly folded her hands together, fingers straight, almost in supplication. “We didn’t actually have sex...”

“How was it?” Angela asked, with a tiny smirk. She didn’t so much want further details, because it was Shawn, but she didn’t think Topanga would go there anyway. She thought she already knew the answer to this question, and she wasn’t disappointed.

“Oh. My. God,” was all Topanga said as she flopped herself backwards on her bed. Her head hit the corner of her textbook but she didn’t even seem to notice. Angela’s smirk grew into a full grin.

“I don’t know if it’s just that I’ve been with Cory so long and everything just seems so...vanilla...now, or if it’s because it was Shawn, or because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I don’t know what came over me.” Topanga sat back up.

“It’s because it was Shawn,” Angela said confidently. “The boy is good. Trust me, I know.”

“But I’m a horrible person, Angela,” Topanga said now, her guilt overtaking the steamy memories. “Shawn got more out of me in one night than Cory has in fifteen years. And he’s his best friend. We’re both horrible people. We were supposed to go out to prove to Cory that nothing like this could happen, and we both failed miserably.” Angela studied her friend for a moment, and set her own guilt aside a bit longer.

“Is that really why you went out?” she asked. “You both could have told Cory to shut up and suck it up, but you didn’t. You and Shawn wanted to go out with each other.”

“You’re not really making this better,” Topanga pointed out.

“What do you want me to say?” Angela asked reasonably. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Um, yeah,” Topanga said in the same way she would have said, ‘well, duh’.

“Then what’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with it?!” Topanga replied. “What’s wrong with it is that I’m engaged. And Shawn is his best friend. We basically both cheated on him.” Angela did feel for her friend; she was still surprised that sensible Topanga had let herself be that carefree for one night, but again, this was Shawn. There was just something about him that made even the most practical female swoon.

“Do you love Cory?” Angela asked now. She wasn’t sure how her own confession was going to fit in here. First she wanted to find out where Topanga stood on everything.

“Yes,” Topanga answered decisively, but she was looking at the floor as she said it. Angela, watching her closely, saw her open her mouth as if she would say more, then close it. She tried to shove any of her own projections out of what she was witnessing so she could be what her friend needed.

“But...?” Angela gently prodded. Topanga looked up at her quickly.

“But?” she repeated. Angela stayed silent, knowing she would figure it out. In a moment, Topanga sighed. “I really do. It’s just that...I guess I don’t know if I’m in love with him anymore. You know, that spark, that chemistry that everybody says we have, I don’t know if we have that anymore.”

Angela made a sympathetic face, forcing the fresh memory of how passionately Cory could kiss out of her mind.

“You guys used to be crazy about each other,” Angela said. She had noticed things had changed between them, that they weren’t all over each other like they used to be in high school. She chalked that up to being in a relationship for as long as they had. They still seemed solid enough as a couple, but more like an old married one. Topanga had never told her if she was getting bored or disinterested in Cory, so Angela had been assuming all was well in their world. She guessed it had taken Shawn to show Topanga that there was far more excitement out there to be had.

“I know,” Topanga said, and sighed again. “So if I can do something like this, does that mean I don’t really love him anymore?” That was a good question, one Angela could not hope to answer for her.

“What did you feel last night with Shawn?” Angela asked her. Topanga chewed on her lip before answering.

“Everything that I don’t feel with Cory,” the answer came. “Excitement. Passion. Fun.” Topanga looked like she still wanted to look guilty but couldn’t quite manage it.

“Do you want to be with Shawn? Like, as a boyfriend?” Angela queried next, and held her breath. She let it out when Topanga shook her head.

“No, I don’t think so,” she told Angela. “I’m sure it would be fun for awhile, but for one thing, it would be too weird, there’s too much history between all four of us. And you know Shawn’s not the settling down type. At least not right now. I wouldn’t want to be another broken heart in his score book.” Not that Topanga actually thought Shawn was that callous. Well, anymore anyway. Cory had shared with her that he had had a not-so-little black book in high school that he burned when Angela came along, but then in the long run he hadn’t been able to stay with her either. Angela was nodding sagely.

“So what are you going to do now?” Angela asked, starting to feel like she was interrogating her friend.

“I don’t know,” Topanga said, sounding somewhat like a lost little girl. “Stay as far away from Shawn as I can. He’s just too tempting. We swore to each other that we wouldn’t let Cory find out what happened. I don’t know how we’re going to hide it though. He says he saw chemistry between us before we ever even kissed, much less now.” She looked at Angela in concern.

“Was there?” Angela wanted to know. Topanga nodded.

“We were both in denial about it for a long time,” she said. “I guess it’s no wonder it eventually came out. I guess I should go see him. I don’t know if I really want to face him though.” Topanga looked unhappily at the door, then picked up her hairbrush again. She would have been content to hide in this dorm room forever. She didn’t want to see Cory yet, and she was scared to see Shawn again, at least in front of Cory. There was no way, unless she was able to turn herself to stone, that she would be able to act calm and cool if they were both present at the same time.

She had been so unwilling to look objectively at her relationship lately for fear of what she might find. Cory was a great guy, he really was: sweet, cute, funny more often than not, when he wasn’t being neurotic. Topanga couldn’t truly imagine what being with anybody else would be like, which made her wonder if she wasn’t just with Cory because it was safe. He was all she had known, past a few other dates at the times they weren’t officially together. She was the one that had proposed to him, and now she was the one that had cheated on him, worse than he ever had on her with Lauren. Even if she could keep it from him, should she? And would she ever be able to forgive herself either way?

Topanga was too caught up in her own mental anguish to notice that Angela had been pacing back and forth, wringing her hands. But as she finished brushing her hair and stood up to get her makeup bag, looking for any excuse to stall leaving the room, she almost walked into the other girl.

“What are you doing, Hun?” Topanga asked. “Are you okay?” She had seen the furrowed brow on Angela’s usually smooth face. Not much ruffled her. Topanga began to worry that her own transgressions were taking more of a toll on her friend than she was letting on.

Angela stopped her current circuit and folded her arms, staring back at her friend. She wished for someone to knock on the door, or a fire alarm to go off, or something else, anything else, to interrupt what she knew she had to do. When nothing happened, she went and sat back down on the edge of her bed.

“What I’m about to say might make you hate me,” she began. No sense in sugar coating it, she figured. Topanga smiled a little at her.

“That’s ridiculous,” she said. The smile quickly fell. “You hate _me_ , don’t you? For what I did?” Angela was shaking her head before Topanga finished the question.

“No. No,” Angela told her. “This is about what I did.” Topanga looked at her quizzically. What could she have possibly have done?

“Topanga, I’m sorry, but I kissed Cory last night.” The long haired girl tilted her head, her expression still confused.

“You? Kissed Cory?” Angela nodded, her stomach in knots.

“He came to talk to me last night about your guys’ date. He was so worried and I was trying to reassure him that nothing was happening. We heard you two come back to the room, and then we didn’t hear anything so he wanted to go over there, which we did. You were gone by that time, and he was freaking out. I figured maybe if I kissed him and showed him that a kiss didn’t have to mean anything or make anybody feel anything he would feel better.” She took a breath here, having gotten that out in a rush. The worst was still yet to come though. “But, it didn’t work. When I kissed him, he kissed me back and we ended up making out for a little while. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and all we did was kiss, and then I left to come back here, and he probably hates himself, and I hate myself a little, and I’ll understand if you hate me too.”

Through all of this, Topanga’s expressions hadn’t changed much, other than her eyes widening again as she listened. The thought of Cory and Angela messing around had never entered her mind in a million years. They hadn’t even spent much time alone together, as far as she knew.

“You kissed Cory?” she repeated, unsure of what else to say. Angela looked terrified, and she got up off the bed to move towards the door.

“I’m gonna go,” she announced, and exited before Topanga could stop her, still in her pajamas. She’d spit it out, she’d confessed, but she couldn’t bring herself to stay for the aftermath. She left Topanga sitting there, more confused than ever.

Topanga supposed she was mad; Cory had now cheated on her, again. But Angela had started it. But this had all gone on while she herself was doing things she’d never done before with Shawn. Suddenly a laugh came spilling out of her, and she began to think she might be going quite mad. Did this get her off the hook? Cory couldn’t be too upset with her if he’d been kissing Angela. She knew that the best thing to do would be to go find Cory and they could have a good discussion about what the hell they were doing. Instead she laid down again, telling herself that she needed to work herself up to that. She’d had a late night and really needed some more time to think all these things over. She was asleep shortly thereafter.

 

 

Shawn lay in bed, covers drawn up over his head, mostly awake but too nervous to move. He expected Cory was sitting there staring at him, lying in wait. He’d slept well and he sensed it was probably after noon, so he knew he’d have to get up eventually. His stomach growled, confirming that. He slowly eased the blanket away from one eye to peek out at the room, and was surprised not to come face to face with a furious Cory. In fact, his room mate was not there at all, and Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. He knew he’d have to deal with him eventually but at least it didn’t have to be now.

He still delayed getting up, replaying memories in his head and smiling to himself. He could still smell her, on his undershirt, and that made him almost able to feel her again, how she had moved against him, and how she had touched him, tentatively but with a desire that would not be contained. Her skin had been so soft, and Shawn had been amazed at how turned on he’d gotten with just her lips on his ear. He noticed the effects his thoughts were having in his boxer shorts right now, and he shook his head to try to clear it. He couldn’t keep thinking about her like this; it wouldn’t do anybody any good, least of all him.

After they had eventually stopped themselves last night, with a monumental effort, and were just cuddling, they had discussed the fact that this could never happen again. Both knew if it did, they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves the next time. And they made the promise to each other that they wouldn’t tell Cory anything. Shawn knew he’d betrayed his friend in the worst of ways. The kiss for the film had been a whatever, not right perhaps, but now that he had caressed parts of Topanga’s body that Cory had never even seen, guilt truly began to surface. Shawn felt as if he’d violated something sacred, tainted a strong relationship that he had a lot of respect for; Topanga wasn’t just another girl to mess around with. He wondered what she was doing right now. Probably dealing with Cory, bless her. He finally got himself up out of bed to go get some breakfast, pulling on a pair of jeans and a button up shirt over his body spray scented undershirt. He wasn’t ready to change out of it yet.

Topanga spent the day being more lazy then perhaps she had ever been, continuing to hide in her dorm room. After her nap, she contemplated going to find Cory, or maybe Angela, but it just seemed like too much effort. So she read her economics book, preferring to concentrate on hard facts instead of emotions. This worked for the most part, until she’d glance up for a moment and her eye would land on her dress from last night that she’d hadn’t hung up yet. Then she’d be back in that other dorm room, and Shawn would be slipping her shoulder out of that dress, his lips hot on her neck as she sat on his lap and felt what she was doing to him pressing into her leg. She forced her attention back to studying, but it wouldn’t be long before she remembered how his belly felt under her lips as she teased him, or the way his hand reverently smoothed its way down the length of her body, or his laugh when her long hair fell into his mouth for the third time.

Things were just so different with Shawn than with Cory, and though she resisted comparing, she couldn’t help it. Shawn was so much better at stuff than her fiancee, and logically she knew this was because he had more experience, and that the fact that Cory didn’t have that experience was because most of the stuff he’d done had been with her. Which was comforting in its own way, but she was beginning to wonder how much excitement she was denying herself. She had been raised to honor her body, it was a temple that not just anyone could touch. That’s why she was saving her virginity for marriage, and had been careful not to put herself in situations where she would be tempted to break that vow to herself. It was easy to tell Cory no, especially because he tended to beg her to show more or do more when they were alone and being intimate. She got irritated with him at those times, and even had she been turned on enough to want to do more, she knew she’d tell him no just because he was acting like a child. Shawn did not act like a child.

Until last night, she hadn’t considered the idea of ever being with anybody but Cory, and now she was having a hard time not thinking about the possibilities. What was happening to her? She had always thought she wanted the stable long term relationship that turned into marriage, and that was why she proposed to Cory the second they graduated high school. She wanted to know he belonged to her and that their future was set. She was on track for the fairy tale wedding and the kind of life that her parents had: steady, predictable, surrounded by the white picket fence. And boring. Soul-achingly, stir-crazy making, watch-your-life-ebb-away boring. A sturdy knock on the door sliced into these thoughts, and Topanga jumped. Thinking that must be Cory, she took a deep breath and hoped she’d be able to lie to him.

“Come in,” she called. Instead of her curly haired fiancee, it was Shawn that peeked around the door and stepped into the room. Topanga’s heart skipped a beat and she jumped up off her bed.

“You can’t be here!” she told him, taking a step towards him and then reversing that step. Why did he have to look so good in just jeans and a tee, standing there threatening all she knew with that lady killer smile?

“Is that what he said?” he asked, looking downcast now.

“Who?” Topanga asked. Shawn looked at her carefully; she seemed really keyed up and distracted.

“Cory,” he said slowly.

“Oh,” she said, “No. I haven’t talked to him. I just...think maybe that’s the best thing. You know, for us to not see each other much. At least for a while.” She looked sad as she delivered these words, and Shawn felt his heart break a little. His hands itched to reach out for her, just to offer comfort, a squeeze to the shoulder or a hug. He kept himself in check because he would never disrespect her or her wishes. She wasn’t wrong, he reasoned, with attraction this strong the only way to avoid it escalating would be to remove the source. How was that going to work though, with both of them being so close to Cory, if they still were, that is? Shawn remembered why he’d come over in the first place.

“So wait, you haven’t seen Cory?” he asked her now. When Shawn had come back to his room from getting food, and wandering the library for a bit in an attempt to distract himself, and then running into a couple friends of his and hanging out with them, Cory had not been there, and it didn’t look like he’d been there all day. It was now early evening, and Shawn admitted he was getting worried. His best friend was not always the most reasonable person, especially when it came to his girlfriend, and depending on what he was speculating that his girlfriend had done the night before, Shawn wasn’t totally sure what he would do.

“No, I haven’t,” Topanga confirmed. “I’ve been thinking I probably should go talk to him but I don’t really know how. How has he been with you? What did you tell him?”

“Topanga, I haven’t seen him either.” He watched her face go through the same emotions he had just had, and land on worry.

“Where the hell could he be?” she asked.

 


	5. Chapter 5

After Shawn had gotten back at three in the morning, Cory had lain there, his stomach roiling, until he heard his longtime friend’s rhythmic breathing that meant he was asleep. Then Cory had slipped out of bed and out of the room, and he hadn’t been back since. For the first time, he wished he was old enough to drink, maybe that would dull the circus in his mind. He wandered the campus and then the streets around it, ending up watching the sun come up in a nearby park, going over and over the same thoughts the whole time.

The proof that he had been right was extremely small compensation. A kiss does mean something, he’d known it. And Angela was so good at it, he would think, before forcing his brain back to the real issue, which was Topanga and Shawn. What had they been doing almost all night? Topanga seemed to be so against having sex, so he didn’t think they had done that. Or was that just with him, a nagging voice asked. Had she given into Shawn because he was, well, Shawn? Cory had watched many girls through the years not be able to resist his friend, and Cory could admit to himself that he was jealous of that. It had been a rare instance that a female wanted Cory just physically, while Shawn almost had to beat them off with a stick. But this was Topanga, his fiancee and one of the most logical, steadiest people he knew. In his most secret of hearts, he knew he’d always been at least somewhat nervous of Shawn being able to steal her away, which was why he’d reacted so strongly to the kiss.

He spent a good portion of time in those early morning hours going between trying to convince himself that nothing had happened between them, and they had just gone somewhere else to talk or stayed with other friends in order to avoid his own psychotic self. But then he would picture them together in a dark room, hands all over each other, whispering to each other that they’d waited so long for this. Between these two contrasts, memories of kissing Angela would slip into the cracks, and even shaking his head wouldn’t clear it.

Truth was, he had enjoyed that far more than he wanted to admit. Was it just because it was a good distraction when he had been so stressed? He didn’t know if that explained how long it went on, or the knowledge, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, that he wanted it to happen again. Then he remembered Lauren, and how a part of him wanted to kiss her again, at the time. But he had chosen his relationship of many years with Topanga, the girl he loved, over a what if. He never told anyone, not even Shawn, that he still thought about Lauren and where he might be if he had taken the chance. What was wrong with him? He was supposed to be devoted to Topanga. But if she was not as devoted to him as she used to be, did that change things?

Cory wanted to talk about things with somebody, and though Shawn would have been the first one he’d turn to with anything else, on this one he was out. He found himself walking in the direction of his brother’s apartment and then knocking on his door, aware that it was far too early for anyone to be awake. One of Eric’s room mates, Rachel, opened the door, squinting at him under her shock of short red hair. She was wearing a silky robe that only came to her upper thighs, and Cory couldn’t quite look away. He didn’t know how Eric and Jack lived with her and didn’t go crazy. Of course, he supposed he didn’t really know what went on between the three of them when he wasn’t around.

“Is Eric home?” Cory asked lamely. “I really need to talk to him.” Rachel, a bit more awake now, looked at him in sympathy. She put an arm around his shoulders and drew him into the apartment. Cory’s blood pressure sped up in spite of himself.

“You look like it,” she told him. “Let me put some tea on for you and I’ll get him.” Cory was going to tell her that he didn’t need tea, but it was sort of nice to have someone doing something to take care of him, and he enjoyed the way his mouth went dry when she bent over to get something out of a drawer. He sank gratefully down onto the couch, and took the hot mug from her hands. She smiled at him before disappearing down the hall.

“What are you doing here this early, Cor?” Eric’s voice came a few moments later, and his brother stumbled into the living room, still pulling on a pair of pajama pants. His face betrayed his worry; it was before eight on a Saturday morning, Cory didn’t look like he’d slept, and it didn’t look like it was because he’d been up all night partying.

“I’ve screwed up everything,” he opened, and took a sip of tea. He proceeded to tell Eric all the things that had transpired that week, ending with him making out with Angela. He didn’t know what words of wisdom he expected his brother to have, but it felt good to get everything out. When he was done, Eric, who had listened intently and not interrupted, got up and went to the refrigerator, coming back with two opened bottles of beer. He handed one to Cory.

“First of all, you need something stronger than tea,” he said.

 

 

Angela figured she was on her fourth cup of coffee, tucked into a corner of the student lounge,which was not helping her nerves. She knew eventually she’d have to go back to her dorm room and take the heat from Topanga. She had screwed up, plain and simple. How dare she kiss another woman’s fiancee, for any reason? Even as much as she had enjoyed it, she wished she could take it back. She couldn’t imagine the torture Cory must be putting himself through right now, torture that she had compounded. Angela had taken a break from hiding in the lounge to wander the campus a bit, and she had knocked on Cory’s door but didn’t get an answer. She hadn’t barged in, not wanting to see Shawn’s dead body or who knew what else. Maybe if she stayed away from everyone long enough, things would just smooth over, and they could pretend like nothing had happened.

She spotted Shawn and Topanga before they saw her, walking into the lounge and taking a seat on the couch. She watched how they were careful not to get too close to each other, but she also saw the almost involuntary flirting, and even from this distance, she could feel the tension. What had happened to staying away from him, Topanga, she thought. Then before her eyes, Topanga’s head was on Shawn’s shoulder, and his arm was around her. One of them would have to transfer schools to halt this now, she realized.

 

 

Cory braced himself to walk into the dorm room and face Shawn, but Shawn wasn’t there. So he gathered his things and went to take a shower, mulling things over. After his second beer, he had fallen asleep at the apartment, finally exhausted. The only advice that Eric had been able to give him was that things seemed to be out of his hands now; really, Topanga was going to do what she was going to do, and Cory had to let her make her choice, just as she had let him make his choice between her and Lauren. He didn’t like thinking about it like that, but he supposed Eric was right. It just seemed like everything he knew was falling apart, and as far as he could see, it was his fault. If he hadn’t made as big of a deal as he did about the kiss between Shawn and Topanga in the film, they probably wouldn’t have spent time alone together where they could go further with things, and Angela wouldn’t have kissed him to try to prove a point. He washed the long night and day away in the shower, preparing himself to apologize.

Angela saw him walk into the lounge, and how he brought himself up short at the sight of Shawn and Topanga cuddled on the couch. Her heart went out to him; though she hadn’t been able to keep Shawn, at least he hadn’t cheated on her. Cory looked resigned, she noted, as if he wasn’t horribly surprised to find them like this. When a date doesn’t end until the wee hours of the morning, it’s not hard to figure out most of what happened.

He stood next to the door, well behind the couch, just watching the two of them for awhile. Their heads were close together, and they seemed to be deriving comfort from each other. This was a step beyond pure lust, he thought. And apparently they didn’t care who saw them anymore; Cory received looks from a couple of people passing by that said, sucks to be you. As he stood there, his eyes began to sting and he was about to turn away and go back to the dorm when suddenly Angela was there in front of him, blocking his view of Shawn and Topanga.

Her dark eyes had a way of piercing your soul, and they did so now, causing Cory’s hands to tremble.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, and took his hand. He allowed himself to be led away, away from the scene that was breaking his heart that he would have watched forever. Angela took him back to the dorm room she shared with Topanga, and though he could smell his girlfriend’s body spray strongly here, he was able to ignore it as Angela sat him down on her bed and climbed into his lap, straddling him. He kept his gaze fixed on her eyes, for they suddenly seemed like a port in a storm. She brought her arms up to wrap around him, and he accepted the comforting warmth of her body, pulling her in closer.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he whispered in her ear.

“None of us do,” she told him, her voice low. “But I know this feels good.” And throwing caution to the wind, she pushed her body into him even more, and was rewarded with feeling him grow hard underneath her. She let him be the one to lay them down, the one to start kissing her, the one to start slipping his hands beneath her clothes. She wasn’t forcing him to do anything; she had to know he wanted this as much as she did. She realized belatedly that she hadn’t hung a rubber band on the knob when they heard the door crash open and Shawn and Topanga stumbled in, attached to each other at the lips, and hands groping everywhere before they even hit Topanga’s bed. They didn’t even notice they had an audience that had stopped dead in their own tracks.

Cory’s eyes grew wide as saucers, watching his best friend and his girlfriend (well, he supposed his ex-girlfriend by now) make out and drown in each other. His heart throbbed, and he couldn’t seem to look away. He felt Angela’s hand come to rest on his cheek, tender and accepting. He reached for her other hand, and held on tight as he saw Topanga sliding Shawn’s shirt off. Then he couldn’t watch anymore, so he grabbed Angela and pulled her back on top of him, attacking her lips and tongue and drawing a moan out of her. He reached down to grind her body into his erection, and then they heard Topanga gasp.

“Cory!” Topanga said, and “Angela?” Shawn queried. Shawn quickly replaced his shirt, and Topanga smoothed her hair down. Had the other two been there the whole time? Shawn’s body thrummed with need, so he supposed it could happen that he’d been that unaware of his surroundings. Even though it had been less than a day since they had vowed they wouldn’t put themselves in this position again, they obviously could not be near each other without going crazy. And since neither knew where Cory was or where to begin looking for him, it was too tempting to put off denying themselves for a little while longer.

Topanga resolutely did not remove her hand from Shawn’s thigh as she stared at the other couple, but neither were Cory and Angela breaking away from each other.

“When did this happen?” Shawn asked. Apparently Topanga had not shared this news with him.

“Last night,” Angela said, slowly lifting herself off of Cory, though Cory wished she wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, Topanga.” She hung her head in shame.

“No,” Cory said, moving himself into a sitting position, making sure he kept contact with Angela. “I’m the one that’s sorry. All of this is my fault. If I hadn’t freaked out about that kiss, and made you two go out, none of this would have happened.” All four of them looked around at each other rather awkwardly for a few moments, no one sure what to say. Topanga ended up being the brave one.

“Are you sure about that? Maybe this was supposed to happen.”

“What, that we were supposed to throw away fifteen years?” Cory asked her.

“It’s not like things have been good between us for awhile, Cory.” Shawn started feeling uncomfortable still having Topanga half on him for this conversation but when he tried to ease himself away, her grip on his leg strengthened.

“I know,” he acknowledged, still grasping Angela’s hand. He was randomly curious about something. “Why did you turn down Yale to stay here with me, then?” he asked her. That had only been a few months ago that she had made that decision, and things between them hadn’t changed that drastically. Topanga’s eyes fell to the bed below her, then back to Cory.

“You weren’t the only person I couldn’t stand to not see every day if I had left,” she confessed, glancing at Shawn. He heard this and knew it would take him awhile to comprehend. Cory’s heart finished breaking with that sentence: the proof that he hadn’t been the only one in her world for awhile. He had lost her some time ago, or perhaps he’d never really had her.

“I think two of us should go,” Angela said, looking at Shawn and gently pulling her hand away from Cory. Shawn nodded, but Cory spoke up.

“You’re right, let’s go out to dinner,” Cory said. “All four of us, let’s go out for pizza or something.” The other three stared at him. “If we start acting weird around each other now, where does that leave us? We’re still all friends, right?” Was this Cory talking? He saw the looks he was getting and almost laughed.

“Look, none of us were in the right on this one. Not a single one of us. So let’s just go from here.”

“So this isn’t going to bother you?” Topanga asked, before moving her body further into Shawn’s and kissing him. As always, she had a hard time stopping.

“Sure it is,” he told her, “but I get to do this then.” And he grabbed Angela’s ass again and laid another kiss on her. He wasn’t sure he would ever get tired of that.

As they were all leaving later on for the pizzeria, Shawn made sure he was walking next to Cory.

“Thank you for not killing me,” he told his friend. “I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“It’s not like it was just you,” Cory told him. “It takes two to tango. Clearly you have something I can’t give her.” He sounded sad, and Shawn wasn’t buying his “let’s all stay friends” front for more than a moment. But then Cory’s face lifted, and he added, “But how else would I have found out how good of a kisser Angela is?” Shawn grinned, knowing full well what he meant.

“Welcome to the rest of the world, Cor.” He patted his friend on the back, and watched Topanga’s cute little ass as the girls walked in front of them.

 


End file.
